Title: The Lights On Your Skin
Author: vegawriters
Fandom: Law and Order: SVU
Pairing: Alex/Olivia
Timeframe: Season 11
Rating: Adult. Very not safe for work. Even though … I wrote it at work.
A/N: For medland. Merry Christmas to one of the best friends and betas a girl could hope for.
Disclaimer: If Law and Order BELONGED to me, you think I’d be writing fic? So no. Dick Wolf and his crew own it all, I am just taking Elliot, Olivia, Fin, and others, out to play. Now, if Mr. Wolf is looking for someone to write his L&O novel tie-ins … I’m totally there. Just sayin...

Summary: Olivia slid her arms around the other woman and rested her chin on Alex’s shoulder. It was surreal, to be standing here, in this position, all over again. When she closed her eyes, she still saw those flashing lights taking Alex away from her, into hiding, into safety. She could still feel their one desperate night together, before Alex testified against Connors; could still feel Alex’s hungry lips and taste their mutual tears. She could still see Alex walking toward her at that crime scene; the only reason Olivia had been able to forgive her not calling since her release from witness protection was the look of panic in her eyes.



“Dammit!”

At first, every cop instinct in Olivia made her want to drop the Christmas lights and race to Alex’s side, but to do so would mean starting over in her battle of wills with the Christmas tree Alex had decided to purchase this year and there was no way in hell she was letting the fir tree win. So instead she leaned back so she could get a glimpse through into her girlfriend’s small kitchen. “You dead or dying?”

“The hot cocoa is, babe. Gotta start over.”

Olivia laughed. “And here I thought I was the one loosing the battle against inanimate objects.” She tucked some lights between the tight branches of the tree and moved around it, slowly, dragging the string of lights like it was Linus’ blanket. “Don’t take your eyes off the milk.”

“I was focused on the cocoa.”

“This is why you will never sit on a stakeout with me.” Olivia dropped to a crouch on her seemingly endless circle around the tree.

“Why?”

“Because your one track, lawyer brain will get stuck on some tiny piece of nonsense and you will miss the perp coming out of the building.”

Alex’s responding laughter was muffled by the sounds of her scrubbing out the pot of what had to be ruined milk and Olivia let her huff around the kitchen. She had to chuckle. Hot cocoa – one. Alexandra Cabot of the DA’s office – zero. At least she was winning her battle with the tree. It was almost there. And then ornaments.

It wasn’t a large tree. No one who lived in Manhattan on their salaries could afford apartments that allowed for large trees. Even with Alex’s family money and the trust fund she let accrue interest for her eventual nest egg, her digs were small compared to what her family would have wished for their golden daughter. But it worked for Alex and Olivia loved it. But at least this compact tree was bigger than the Charlie Brown replica that sat on her own coffee table. She’d bought it for nostalgic reasons, remembering curling up with her mother to watch the old Peanuts special; she’d always liked the idea that something so broken could also be considered beautiful. But it was still nice to have access to an apartment that would be adorned with pale blue Christmas lights caught in the reflection of glass ornaments.

Finally, she leaned back and took in the bunched up little tree and its lights and decided that she’d had the better end of the deal in the jobs dished out. Making one last adjustment, Olivia turned and headed back to the kitchen, stopping at the liquor cabinet to grab the bottle of Bailey’s. “Here,” she handed the Irish Crème to Alex, “it makes everything better.”

“Don’t I know that.”

Olivia slid her arms around the other woman and rested her chin on Alex’s shoulder. It was surreal, to be standing here, in this position, all over again. When she closed her eyes, she still saw those flashing lights taking Alex away from her, into hiding, into safety. She could still feel their one desperate night together, before Alex testified against Connors; could still feel Alex’s hungry lips and taste their mutual tears. She could still see Alex walking toward her at that crime scene; the only reason Olivia had been able to forgive her not calling since her release from witness protection was the look of panic in her eyes. Alex still had healing to do too. “The milk is ready,” she whispered into Alex’s ear and stepped back to give the other woman space to move. Tears suddenly flooded her eyes and Olivia turned around, trying to get a grasp on her emotions. Now wasn’t the time for tears and nostalgia and aching melancholy. They had hot cocoa with milk and Irish Crème, the night off, and twinkling blue lights on a sweet Christmas tree. There was time to cry over the past later. But when Alex pressed the mug into her hands, Olivia couldn’t stop the single tear the trickled down her cheek.

“Hey,” Alex leaned in and kissed it away. “What’s wrong, Liv?”

“Nothing,” She shook her head, trying valiantly to keep the tears at bay, “it’s just … you’re here. You’re home. With me. It still isn’t registering, Alex.”

Alex didn’t respond. Instead she leaned in and their lips met in a slow tango that ended with one of them (Olivia was sure it was Alex) somehow managing to get the mugs of cocoa on the counter before the hot milk spilled everywhere. They backed each other against the fridge and magnets fell and neither cared. Hands slipped under clothing – cool hands meeting with hot skin – and the cooling cocoa was a secondary priority to the air they were drinking from each other. Olivia moaned as Alex’s nimble fingers slipped up under her bra and stroked a nipple before slipping back down and around to find the clasp and loosen the restrictive garment to allow her more access. Olivia tried to pull Alex’s sweatshirt over her head, but it would mean making Alex stop what she was doing and she had no intention of letting that happen. But Alex pulled back for air and smiled. “Has it registered yet?”

Olivia tilted her head in surprise and then burst out laughing. “It’s starting to.”

“I’ll have to see what I can do to make it stick then.” Alex kissed her again but removed her hands and reached for her mug of cocoa. “Meet you in the living room.”

With a groan, Olivia made quick work of her bra and left it on the counter while she grabbed her own mug and followed Alex. The blonde had settled on the couch, facing the tree, and Olivia snapped off the lights, leaving the room bathed only in the blue lights she had just spent half an hour wrangling into place. Yeah, it was starting to register that Alex was back and (hopefully) not going anywhere. Now if only she could make the same promise. Commitment had never been her thing, especially since Alex’s departure. “Tell me about a good Christmas you had while you were in protection.” She needed to make it real, somehow. She needed to know about the person Alex had been forced to become while she’d been away. Slowly, Olivia crossed to her and snuggled onto the couch next to her lover.

“Well,” Alex pulled the afghan on the couch over them, and snuggled close. “My first winter in Wisconsin, actually. There was snow everywhere, nothing like what we see here. I mean, I’d seen my share of white Christmases growing up but I woke up on Christmas morning and I had a couple of presents under the tree from friends I’d made already and there was snow falling and it was almost magical. I made myself a cup of coffee and I stayed at the window all morning, just watching the snow fall. It was so beautiful. I thought of you all morning. I hoped you were at Elliot’s for Christmas so you weren’t alone. I thought of the necklace I bought for you and the rings I’d wanted to exchange and how we’d shared Christmas the year before.”

Olivia sniffed. “That was a good Christmas?”

“Because I knew I was safe and you knew I was alive and I knew that someday we’d be back together. Someday. I almost called you that day. I contemplated going out and buying a disposable cell phone and calling you, but I was so scared it would mess something up.”

The cocoa warmed her stomach and Olivia sighed and snuggled closer to Alex. “I did spend it with Elliot, if it makes you feel better. He and Kathy and the kids demanded I come over. Well, he did. Kathy I’m sure would rather I not be there.”

Alex chuckled softly. “She never did warm up to you.”

“She never really had a reason to. But Elliot didn’t want me alone. I know he was scared I’d do something stupid.”

“Like go out and get drunk and pick up the first blonde who hit on you?”

Olivia wanted to be mad, but she couldn’t. Not when Alex was right. “Yeah.” She took another sip of her cocoa. “But midway through the morning I got called to a scene. It helped to work.”

“Baby …”

But Olivia leaned over and kissed her. “You want to know what amazes me more than anything?”

“What?”

“That after what we’ve been through, you and I are sitting here on your couch, snuggling, looking at Christmas lights. You didn’t run, even though I tried to.”

“You’re always running, Liv. Once I learned that, it was easy to hold onto you.”

Whatever rebuttal Olivia had planned was lost as Alex kissed her again. The lawyer was right- she was always running. It was easier than standing still. She’d learned that a long time ago. But maybe, with Alex, she’d be willing to slow down. For a little while, anyway. Again, their mugs found a safe place to perch while their lips danced. This time, Olivia took the initiative and quickly tugged Alex’s sweatshirt over her head. It caught on one of the branches near the tree and knocked some of the lights free but Olivia didn’t care. The woman in front of her was more important than lights or Irish Crème Cocoa or trips down a painful memory lane. They were a long way from being back on the road to forever, but the future had to start somewhere.

She unclasped Alex’s bra and pulled it from her body and moved down to take one of the dusky nipples into her mouth. Alex squirmed and adjusted her body, shifting her legs as open as the couch would allow. Her fingers tugged gently on Olivia’s hair, urging her on and Olivia was more than happy to pay appropriate respect to each perfect breast until Alex finally pulled her back level and reached for the hem of her sweater. It joined Alex’s sweatshirt by the tree and Alex now took over, paying her own respects to Olivia’s breasts and this time, undoing the button on her jeans.

“You know what I missed the most?” Alex hummed against Olivia’s skin as she moved down her body, tugging her jeans and soaked panties down to the floor and tossing them aside. Olivia moaned and parted her legs, allowing for Alex to kneel on the floor and plant kisses up the insides of her thighs. She paused at the apex of Olivia’s thighs, blowing softly on the intended target, waiting for Olivia’s response.

“What?” Olivia moaned and looked down. The blue from the lights on the tree caught the blue of Alex’s eyes and she whimpered softly. She knew what she’d missed the most – that look in Alex’s eyes. Early mornings wrapped in down comforters and terry cloth bathrobes. Walking around half naked and making love under the Christmas tree. She’d missed moments just like this.

“The way the lights look on your skin.”

Without warning, Alex leaned in and nosed at Olivia’s clit. Olivia forgot everything except the feel of Alex’s mouth on her and the long, slow slide of Alex’s fingers as they entered her body and stroked that spot that drove her so close to the edge but never let her completely fall. She gasped and writhed and a small part of her rational mind had to admire Alex for being able to hang on while she thrashed. But Alex had always been stronger than she looked. Slowly, those long fingers slipped in and out while Alex made love to her with her mouth. The pressure built and then ebbed and built again until Olivia knew she was pleading for mercy even if she didn’t understand her own words. Suddenly, her entire body tensed and she arched off the couch, one hand tangling in Alex’s hair, the other reaching for anything to grasp onto as her lover played her to the end until she broke, crying Alex’s name as she struggled for breath, stability, and reentry to the atmosphere. Somewhere she registered Alex sliding up next to her, her fingers still gently stroking her, drawing out the completion of her orgasm. She felt Alex’s lips on hers and tasted herself on Alex’s tongue and the whole sensation brought a series of aftershocks that left her gasping and clinging to the woman in her arms.

“I missed that too,” Alex said with a grin when Olivia finally opened her eyes.

Olivia could only laugh. “God … you are … amazing.”

“I have an amazing instrument to work with.” Alex kissed her again and Olivia let the kiss linger. Alex slowly pulled her fingers from Olivia’s body and Olivia felt a whole new flush of wetness between her thighs as she watched Alex slowly suck her juices from her long, beautiful fingers.

Olivia caught her hand and pulled Alex closer. “You know what I missed?” She asked, feeling the laughter bubble up in her voice.

“What?”

Popping the button on Alex’s jeans, she moved down on the couch, tugging the denim and Alex’s soaked panties from her impossibly long legs. “The lights on your skin.”

Alex laughed and for the first time since Olivia could remember, she was happy to stop running and just be.

fin